And here’s why.
This is how far I’ve fallen; too lazy to even go across the street for groceries. My apologies to Ben for making fun of his fridge.
New day, new beach. Unfortunately, this one was covered in shells and was not nearly as soft as the previous. Don’t get me wrong though; I’d still totally rock this beach house. Given our broken A/C situation we made the decision to stay one last night in Naples, then head to Key West. I don’t remember much from this day but I’m pretty sure it went beach, beer, sleep. Jamie even slept on the ground in the living room because three people in one bedroom raises the temperature significantly.
Update: Amy reminded me of the stellar sandwich deli we ate at in Naples.
We had just finished lounging on the beach and called Todd for a reco (that’s for you A and J) to a healthy lunch restaurant. Without hesistation he guided us to Jason’s Deli. Normally, I don’t put much stock in other people’s preferences so I had no expectations as I placed an order for a Ranchero Wrap. When our food arrived and we began to eat, each of was pleasantly surprised. It was so good we returned the following day before heading to Key West. I honestly believe this a golden franchising opportunity for Portland. If only I had access to the 1 mil in capital they recommend.
The girls made me get up early, again. During our travels around Naples we frequently passed the same Cracker Barrel. I had never been to a Cracker Barrel and had always been slightly intrigued by the concept: diner plus country store. Odd couple but whatever. After spending nearly $500 on food and drink in South Beach, I was elated to find a country style lunch for under $10. We even found time for a game of checkers outside the store… er, diner? After lunch we headed to the beach.
Parking was scarce, close to the beach but we lucked out and slid right into a metered spot as another beach goer was leaving. We pumped a few quarters in and since it looked as though it was going to rain soon, we figured the 1.5 hours on the meter would be sufficient. Well the weather was being so cooperative we decided to just risk a ticket since we didn’t have anymore quarters. Not that any of us was motivated enough to walk to a store, get quarters, then refill the meter. Would you be motivated if you had this in front of you? Additionally, we were having such stimulating conversations.
Fredrick to Amy: Is getting cellulite your biggest fear?
Amy, with a look of extreme surprise: Did you just ask me that?
As the clouds rolled in, we decided to pack it in. Mind you this is about 2 hours after our meter had expired. Walking back to our car we passed a meter maid. Guess what? This happened. And 10 minutes later this happened.
Later that night, we watched UFC 98 at a nearby sports bar. Unfortunately, Matt Serra and Sean Sherk lost but the fight between Machida and Evans was amazing and Machida emerged the new Light Heavyweight champion. As per usual, I was hungry again, even though I ate only a few hours earlier, so we drove through McDonald’s. Amy was driving, me riding shotgun, and Jamie in the back. Amy places my order with the McDonald’s employee then receives my food.
Drive thru employee to Amy: Would you like anything else?
Amy to Me: Do you want anything else?
Me to Amy: Ask for some Arby’s sauce.
Amy to Drive thru employee: Can I have some Arby’s sauce?
Me: <laughs uncontrollably>
Cue the applause, I’m here all night folks.
In the wee hours of the morning after a long and expensive night of clubbing, Amy, Jamie, I stumbled into a 24hour Walgreens to purchase some much uneeded junk food. While checking out and in a drunken stupor, I told the store clerk, “Man, I gotta get out of Miami.” He pointed West and responded dryly, “You’re in Miami Beach. Miami that way.” Check.
Amy forced to me wake up much sooner than normal. Seriously, who wakes up before noon when on vacation? But I digress. Since, I am slow to rise and generally averse to cleaning by the time I was fully awake, the girls had mostly picked up our condo. Thanks girls! We stopped by Starbucks, for some energy, then grabbed a bite to eat at a nearby deli and we were off. Smell ya’ later SoBe, hello Naples.
Todd and Kim were gracious enough to let us use their condo/unsold home in Naples. Arriving in Naples around dinner time, we decided to shower up and check out the Naples night life. There may not have been much furniture in the condo but seriously who is gonna hang out in doors when you have a beach within 10 mins?
Naples was the polar opposite of Miami. In an attempt to be politically correct, it wasn’t exactly the most “diverse” city I’ve visited. In fact, according to Wikipedia, the population makeup is: 92.50% White. We strolled along Fifth Ave and stopped at a restaurant which claimed to be “the best Thai/Japanese restaurant in Naples.” The competition must be fierce in that category.
After dinner we walked back towards our car and I noticed gentlemen smoking cigars and the girls noticed people enjoying ice cream. We all began to experience cravings. I found a store that carried my favorite cigar, Joya de Nicaragua Antano. I love capping off dinner with dessert and a full bodied cigar.
As I was finishing my cigar, a snotty 12 year old was walking by with his friends and he shouted, “Cigars are bad for you!” I was shocked and caught off guard, all I could muster was, “NO THEY’RE NOT!” To which he replied, “Yes they are. They give you cancer!” Touche young lad. Only later did I think of a better reply. It would have went something like this.
Snotty kid: Cigars are bad for you!
Fredrick: Your mom wishes you were never born!
Fredrick 1, Snotty kid 0.